So what is Simon Belmont doing in this episode of Captain N: The Game Master, and why is he so happy about it? Why, he’s milking a cow, of course! What did you think, you sickos?!

~Race

To those of you who had this done to you as children, I sympathize. Your parents were not the only ones who thought that they were too good for the simple “hand-hold.” When I look back at it, though, maybe it was for my own good. I mean, I never got lost, kidnapped, or got run over by a car, so I suppose they did an okay job. They certainly did a hell of a lot better job than Ethan Mars, Retarded Father Extraordinaire. If you’ve played the beginning of Heavy Rain, do children really just run off like that? Kids, these days. It’s all that rap music.

I kind of don’t want to my parents to see this. They might think I’m making fun of them. >.> I tried my best to portray their Filipino accents, and their sense of dress from the 80’s. Shoulder pads were awesome back then. In all seriousness, though, they speak very proficient English…save for the accent, but to be fair, they think I speak funny Filipino, so I don’t feel too bad. =P

~Race

If you haven’t heard by now, PlayStation Network was down over the weekend, giving countless gamers a “hardware failure error” and depriving them of their Heavy Rain fix. Outrage ensued, and understandably so, as Heavy Rain is pretty freaking awesome so far. I finished Mass Effect 2, and I don’t have any gaming commitments at the moment to hold me back from diving into it. Yay for interactive drama! Wistful sighs are abound! So yeah, anyway, I couldn’t really think of anything substantially funny to use against Sony, so I just went back to making fun of 360’s…’cause they deserve it. It’s what they get for banning my console. *shakes fist* Since this was a last-minute idea, and I touched on this subject before, I hope to come out with another comic later in the week. That would make 6 comics for 2010, which will break last year’s record! lol Stay tuned! =)

~Race

This strip is kind of a throwback to Dueling Analogs‘ line of “Rejected Mega Man Villains,” and by “throwback” I mean “stolen idea.” Sorry Pierski, I hope you don’t hate me. ;P

I must say, I’ve never been “in” to Smash Bros. It may be because I suck at it, but I’d like to think it’s because it lacks the sophistication of a real fighting game (oh snap!)…but that makes me sound like an ass, so I’ll just go with “I suck.” Seriously, I always fall off the levels. Not fun.

In other news, I’m still playing Mass Effect 2, scanning every planet and doing all the side quests before I face the inevitable suicide mission through the Omega 4 Relay. (God, I’m such a dork.) I’ve also started Miles Edgeworth: Perfect Prosecutor. I’m only in the middle of the first mission, which is essentially the super-easy tutorial mission, so I can’t tell you for sure yet whether or not it holds a candle to the rest of the Phoenix Wright series that it spun off from. I still maintain that Apollo Justice is the best one, though.

In the non-gaming portion of my life, I had a dream that I was with the A-Team, fighting off zombies. They got Face, but Hannibal recited his infamous “I love it when a plan comes together” line while smoking a fat cigar and shooting down a horde of zombies with an AK. I don’t know how Face getting bitten by zombies ties into his plan, but whatever…so long as they didn’t get Murdoch.  Man, why do I have these dreams?!

Wow, four updates in a row…I’m on fire!

~Race

Okay, is it just me, or did anyone else think “Asari on Ice” when the pair from Ukraine stepped into the rink on Sunday at the Winter Olympics?  Too much Mass Effect for me, I think…

~Race

Posted from my Superphone

I say nothing, except that Mass Effect is awesome.

Oh, and thanks to Kami, who let me use that shot in the second panel. You know you want to try it.

~Race

Edit: Okay, so I saw this this morning on Player’s Pulse. It’s a rap about mineral probing by Kabuto the Python, complete with a remix of the scanning music, so it totally goes with today’s comic. Fantastic!

Those Minerals – Kabuto the Python

Welp, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Why not surprise your friends and admirees with these Mass Effect 2 valentines from yours truly! These lovely notes will make them want to spend a little time with you in your captain’s quarters, and show them that you have absolutely no qualms about inter-species romance! This is a set of four, and you can download the full-size PDF right here.

Just in case you didn’t guess by now, I’m absolutely LOVING Mass Effect 2. There are a few deviations from the first game that I don’t care for, but it still remains immersive, engaging, and addictive; and unlike the first, Shepard has a number of romantic choices this time around, with options for alien sex. I was at first pursuing a paramour with Jacob Taylor, the human Kanye West look-alike, but once I found out I can get down with Garrus, I became unsure. Do I dump a normal, healthy relationship for a chance to possibly get ripped in half by a charming-but-spiky Turian? OH, I’M SO TORN!

By the way, Mordin Solus is BY FAR my most favorite character in this game. His character development is very intriguing to me, and his loyalty mission is amazing. And he can sing! Typical me, falling for the brainy nerd. I wish my Shepard could shag him instead.

~Race

I saw this via Player’s Pulse, and I laughed out loud.

~Race