Anyhoo, so what’s been up with us? Well, I’m still workin’ for The Man, playing GTA 4, and wanting a PS3 quite badly, if only for Singstar. Arlo, in the mean time, is going to school, working full time, and is busy planning his wedding dated on 08-08-2008. Arlo, if you forget your anniversary, you deserve to get slapped.

I’ve been doing little things here and there with what little I have of my spare time: making dresses and other girly domestic shit, trying to master drums on Rock Band, watching Columbo, and working out to Billy Blanks’ Tae Bo. None of the things on that list is a joke. I keep forgetting to show you guys these. I thought you might appreciate it.

Yeah, I made a moogle dress. Pretty nerdy, huh? It’s a cute little summer dress. Like, in a “We’re not in Kansas anymore and we need to kick Kefka’s ass” kind of way.”

I also did a video game-related podcast with my friend Justin, for my friends’ website, The Ultralife. We’re a kind of athletic nerds clique, and we all go way back since junior high school. This website is something fun we’ve come up with to keep in touch. Anyway, you can listen to the podcast here.

Oh, and if you give a crap about my personal life at all, you can vist me here (Kinda Not Safe For Work). Until next time!

Final Fantasy VI came out yesterday and I couldn’t be more excited for my DS. I’ve been playing Hotel Dusk for the past two or three weeks and Diddy Kong Racing all last week, but now that this title is out, my DS’ GBA port is forfeit. I’ve managed to go the entire life of my LITE without sullying the slot with an archaic Advance game. Oh, but no more. I played 7 hours yesterday and was late for class today.

Six is the best of the Fantasies, overlooked as the last child before the revered VII just too early to make the PSX bus. For shame to be a FF Fan and have never played the best in the series. Go out. Buy it now. If you’ve played it before or especially not. I know I haven’t been making much sense, but you get the gist. Now, I have to go find Terra. She just turned into an esper and flew off.

-Arlo

Are you a registered forum member?

Gee, I really hope you are, because we just ordered our first batch of Level 99 t-shirts and forum members get first crack. Later, all of the losers get to place their orders whenever we feel like getting a form up. Might be never… who knows?

In the future, where there is only war, the only thing between you and a chest full of laser is the surprising dampening effects of cotton. Those who invested in heavy body armor for the inevitable onslaught will fall en masse before feet of the mighty horde armada. Once the life-saving cotton solution is discovered, there will be an unavoidable drought on the material and the government will be forced to commandeer all cotton producing facilities for the sake of the elite guard that will be sent unknowingly to their doom, leaving the public defenseless… except for those few that held on to their swag, instead of trading it in for the now useless titanium. Those who remember the Electronic Entertainment Expo, now mostly dead from old age and a rare sloth-based malady, are the most fortunate, as they own the largest amounts of “platinum fluff”, as it will be called. When the production facilities are recaptured by the civilians, priority will be placed no longer on quality but quantity and the Earth will be overwhelmed by very boring, but very safe, apparel.

Avoid a drab future.

Order your Level 99 T-Shirt today.

-Arlo

Ironically, this has nothing to do with our recent Final Fantasy obsession. Although, if you are any sort of hume, you should be receiving a call very similar to this one on the 30th. Midnight, yo! It should be noted that other options for the reserved game were considered: Hannah Montana and American Dragon Jake Long, just to name a few. What is it with this crazy obession Nickelodeon and other such companies have with making every single thing ever into a game? I’ve reached that point where I don’t identify with children anymore. Bratz are a good example of that. Did you know there was a Cheetah Girls game on the GBA? I didn’t even know there were Cheetah Girls in the first place!

-Arlo

I call it Sakaguchitis. When a game kicks so much ass, your vocabulary becomes stunted and… um… not good. Seriously,check this guy’s track record. If that list of credits doesn’t give you a hard-on, you have no soul. No soul… or no penis.

I’ve only just started and already this game is doing everything right. Just watching the (incredibly long, but that’s okay) intro, I got a feeling I haven’t felt since SNES’s Final Fantasy III (read: 6). To put that into perspective, FFIII was the first RPG I ever played. As I get older I find my video game playing time has decreased, of course. I lamented the fall of the RPG into a paint-by-numbers affair marked only occasionally by half-hearted X’s and nose-turnable X-2’s. Where were the Suikodens (the good ones)? Where were the FFIIIs? I finally knew how my mother felt when she would sing “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone” to herself in the kitchen, and I would cry, cry tears of a lost childhood and a forever forgotten feeling… until today! When I finally got my hands on a copy!

Reserve this game now and be there at midnight. I think it’s safe to say you won’t be disappointed in this return to a time when Final Fantasy meant fantasy.

-Arlo

“was that too much? i never know…”

Bottom 5

Having more of an open mind than the usual discriminating gamer, combined with the fact that I probably don’t have any standards, just tells you how much these games blow.

5.) Bratz 2: Forever Diamondz – You realize that for a “2″ to follow that title, that they would have had to make a first one, right?

4.) Desperate Housewives the Show the Game – Now anyone can be a sloppy suburban slut in this Sims-like mystery-adventure thing! Get into catfights, go in for Botox shots and fuck the gardener! OH, THE DRAMA!

“Oh, Race, you shouldn’t make fun…I’m telling you the writing is really good.”

Yeah, and you play Rumble Roses for the wrestling. *rolls eyes*

You know what, that’s it. Fuck it. Who says a top 5 has to have 5 things in it? Consider me an optimist anyway. Onward! Cuz I’m a rebel like that.

Top 5

5.) Rockstar Games’ Table Tennis – Yeah, I didn’t expect it either. This game actually looks pretty good. I enjoy playing sports games that are not really “sports,” like *cough*golf*cough*, so putting this out into the market may be a refreshing change. It also helps that it really does literally look good.

4.) Children of Mana – It seems like it plays out just like Secret of Mana, only miniature size in your hands on the DS Lite! =D I loved Secret of Mana, so naturally I’m anticipating this game. The art looks fantastic, as always, and gameplay is of course very reminiscent of Super Nintendo.

3.) Final Fantasy – With the release of FFXII, FFVII: Dirge of Cerberus, Final Fantasy III and the Final Fantasy CELL PHONE GAME, SquareEnix has provided something for everyone in their coming year’s Final Fantasy line.

2.) Enemy Territory: Quake Wars – It just looks freaking amazing, I don’t know what to tell you. I loooove Enemy Territory and I love Quake 4, so the blending of the two is just naturally sexy. It’s going a little beyond “realistic” war games like Call of Duty 2 or Medal of Honor, but without going so overboard like Unreal Tournament. It seems like they are sticking with the existing Wolfenstein Enemy Territory formula, so it should adequately take away from more unimportant things, like sleep and employment.

1.) Nintendo Revolution or Wii or whateverwhogivesafuck – I know, I know, I didn’t even get to see it! Regardless, I’m still excited. Granted that by innovating, Nintendo is taking a big risk of getting shot in the face amidst the next generation console wars, but their track record isn’t so bad. Sure, there was Virtua Boy, but there’s also DS! Plus, it’s the most affordable of the next-gen consoles at time of release, so automatically that makes it the most friendly. It should go without saying that I’m anticipating this, as it seems most everyone else at E3 did (4 hour wait to see it!!!!), but I’m mentioning it anyway..mainly because I have not much else to say, but mostly because it just seems so friggin’ cool. Besides, didn’t I tell you I was a rebel?

Alright, that’s it for me. Picture time!

~Race