To those of you who had this done to you as children, I sympathize. Your parents were not the only ones who thought that they were too good for the simple “hand-hold.” When I look back at it, though, maybe it was for my own good. I mean, I never got lost, kidnapped, or got run over by a car, so I suppose they did an okay job. They certainly did a hell of a lot better job than Ethan Mars, Retarded Father Extraordinaire. If you’ve played the beginning of Heavy Rain, do children really just run off like that? Kids, these days. It’s all that rap music.

I kind of don’t want to my parents to see this. They might think I’m making fun of them. >.> I tried my best to portray their Filipino accents, and their sense of dress from the 80’s. Shoulder pads were awesome back then. In all seriousness, though, they speak very proficient English…save for the accent, but to be fair, they think I speak funny Filipino, so I don’t feel too bad. =P

~Race

~Race

Posted from my Superphone

FALLOUT 3:
Holy shit. This game is fantastic. Getting the Oblivion+Fallout analogy out of the way, this is yet another great installment in the franchise and another tick in the positive box for Bethesda. No frame drops from loading, seemingly huge universe, and mature as (to keep the theme) fuck.

For those of you worried about the V.A.T.S. system being over-powered, once you’ve chosen your targets, the action progresses in a slow-mo representation of real-time. You WILL take damage. However, this system contributes to the tactical backdrop of the Fallout franchise. Plus, you get the most amazing deaths this way. Just like Oblivion, though, don’t bother using the third-person perspective for anything but looking at your kick-ass sheriff’s duster. It just doesn’t work that well.

Character customization, freedom of action, and choice of gameplay style ensure your game will be different in some way from your friends’. I’ve been talking with other people that have played the game and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard in response to one of my excited stories, “I didn’t go that way,” or “Oh, I killed that guy,” or “Really? Because I can drink blood now and regenerate limbs. Can’t you?”

If you only kinda want this game, I’ve made up your mind for you. You want it If you already want it, call off work tomorrow.

GUITAR HERO WORLD TOUR:
Don’t mind IGN, I was very impressed by this game especially the track list and note-blueprint. I’m a Harmonix fan all the way and was very let down by Guitar Hero after they left, but Neversoft really stepped it up with World Tour.

The new features like the extended sustains, tap sections, and open-hand bass notes are satisfying and fun. Character creation outshines Rock Band by a country mile, to mix metaphors.

The Instruments–
Drums: Bouncy, quiet, and well-placed. The pedal is cheap like the old RB set.
Guitar: Feels slick, but I still like the RB one better. The slide bar is interesting and useful, but VERY hard to master. You probably won’t be using it as much as intended.

The music creation is way too complicated for what piddly little sounds it produces. The ones you get from other users may be interesting, but in no way will they ever compare to what’s on offer on the disc.

It should be noted: I have experienced just about every problem with the peripherals that you have heard: sticking buttons, sensitive drum pads, and the slide bar registering strums when I’m not doing anything. Activision is replacing everything for me, and you, too if it happens with your stuff.

I know a lot of this sounds bad, but trust me when I say it definitely rivals Rock Band. I’m not going to complain about two great band games that have different things too offer, though it won’t be long until they end up just blending together.

For arcade purists, Konami came out with their game and it’s not that great. So, grit your teeth and pick up a GH or RB.

CASTLEVANIA: This is simple– better than any of the 3D iterations, but very much the worst Symphony-Clone.

LITTLEBIGPLANET: If you own a PS3, there is absolutely no reason not to own this game. It comes into stores for general sale Wednesday, so if you haven’t picked up an early copy this weekend, snag one up like your life depended on it.

This ended up being a long conference call.

-Arlo

Almost two months have come and gone since the Jaana and Guy show was posted, our most recent, each of us being so incredibly busy to the point of apology that the hours per post/strip seemed… not unimportant, but probably the only thing not incredibly dire in our lives. The irony here is that now is probably an even busier time for me than the past several months: the tremendous retail season, a serious relationship around the holidays, full time school with finals upcoming, required observation hours looming. And here I am posting.

I suppose the better irony there is that the one thing that seemed so… not dire?.. is appearing to be the one thing that will make me feel the most productive and calm the stress. Writing isn’t difficult, per se, but writing that feels good can sometimes take time, a luxury of which we do not have much. As such, it got pushed to the side, a luxury to make way for priority. But as it goes, what seems less urgent is often what calms the stress of urgency. Coincidentally, the very day that I told my girlfriend I was going to stay up late to contact Race and get the ball rolling again was the same day that Race contacted me to see when I was next available.

I guess what I’m trying to say is: expect a new podcast in the near future; a new vidcast will arrive shortly after; several strips are conceptualized; and, I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling more creative.

-Arlo

words I learned in My Word Coach today: bagatelle, impecunious, librettist.

~Race

So yeah, yay!

~Race

Am I studying? No, I am not. I could be working on structure trees of compound-complex sentences with subordinating adverbial clauses, but I am not. I have been enthralled by the Halo 3 Beta crash and the resultant separation of the rabid cream from the raw whole milk that is the average fanboy.

Joytiq poster Ludwig Kietzmann had this to say about the issue:

“Dear Bungie, Micro$oft and Major Tom,

I am super mad at you for all the pain and grief you’ve put on me for the last seven hours and forty seven minutes. OMG, it’s a simpel thing you had to do. All you had to do was flip the BEST BETA EVAR swich in your office and give me and the fans across the world sum Halo 3 action. But no, you n00bs couldnt’ even manage that. Let’s look at what I’ve done for you!

First of all, I gave you 60 bucks for my beta ticket i could have just left it at that, but I played the included Crackdown (more liek Suckdown!) game for over 80 hours. I got all the acheivvement points and stuff to see if it unlocked the beta early, but nothing fine, I said, I’ll get my munny’s worth later. I’ll wait until the “official” launch date, whateva. So I waited. Like, a lot. I bought an xtra X-box 360 (an ELITE, which is awesome BTW) just in case I got red-ringed before the beta. I took the whole week off work so I could play it without being interrupted and I told my mom to leave me alone. I did all of that, and what do you give me? nothing.

You guys have lost all your credibility now. I’ve been staring at the crackdown menu for a whole day, when I could have been doing something useful! You wasted my time and I can never get it back!!1I could have picked up my daughter from school by now, but no, you make me sit here and wait and wait and wait until you get your freaking act together. After all that time playing Halo 2, writing fanfiction and making wallpapers of Master Chief (he pwns the stupid Arbitrary) and dedicating my days to you… this is how yuo thank me? No, let me thank you.

Thank you for completely screwing up my life, Bungie. This is all your fold!”

If you think he’s being a little bit too sarcastic, read some of the forums on various sites regarding the issue. “EVERYONE JUST PLAY GEARS……….. FORGET BUNGIE”? Really? I mean, I’m bummed, but…. jesus, man. Calm the fuck down. Beta game-play is a privilege, not a right — a mutually beneficial one, to be sure. But Bungie doesn’t owe you shit. No, your 50 bucks a month for the Gold XBL membership doesn’t guarantee you an on-time beta. That’s not what you’re paying for; you’re paying for the multiplayer shit you get in finished games. Betas are free fucking icing on that cake you payed for. And 50 bucks a year? I pay 12 times that for my health insurance and my XBL means more to me than my kidneys. So calm down… have a cookie.

Yesterday, “M$” (Anyone who types that with seriousness get a free punch in the face… from me. Get the fuck over yourselves.) and Bungie announced that Halo 3 was being ::GASP!:: pushed up! to a September 25th release date. Maybe they should have announced that today, instead.

If you want another beautifully sarcastic viewpoint, Government Lies from that same Bungie.net forum has this to say:

“They know about the delay. This is a good thing. What are they doing about it? Time will tell. I, for one, have faith in our Bungie tech people, and my prayers go with them. They realize that this upset is leaving people… uh… upset, and I’m sure we’ll all be telling our friends and neighbors about how the Bungie people taught us an important lesson in patience.

Otherwise, today will go down in history as ‘Bungie’s Folly’ and my children will visit the still-burning rubble of the Bungie Studios, and I will shed a single tear and tell them, ‘Look well, my children. May 16th, 2007 was the last day people underestimated the power of a large group of gamers coming down from an anticipation high.’”

Read the beginning of that thread for some of the funniest nerd-panic you’ve ever read in your life.

Meanwhile, I gotta go take a freaking test. If it’s not up by the time I get home, I’m thinking about boycotting M$ and burning my laptop.

-Arlo

Finally, I’ve found the ultimate simplified tool to help me through my oh-so-complicated life! It has powers even beyond that of the controversial Ouija Board, or the demonic Magic Eight Ball. AND IT’S WIRELESS! Yep, I’m speaking, of course, of the Wii “Everybody Votes” Channel, where once a day you can poll the Mii masses for their invaluable opinions, and provide them yours in return! You can finally toss that pair of parachute pants because 80% agree that they will never make a comeback, or you can be one of the 60% who’d rather scarf down their own boogers than eat their own farts!

Speaking of farts, do I stink or what? I know you’re asking, “ZOMG RACE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN WE’VE MISSED YOUR GREATNESS SO MUCH!” Well, calm down, plebes, I’m still alive. =P I’ve no great reason or excuse for my absence, really, which makes me some kind of horrible person I think. Arlo’s been covering for me saying how I was sick and everything. Well, I shouldn’t say “covering up,” because he’s partially right. I have been sick, but mostly in the head. I’ve contracted a very bad case of emo-betes, characterized by symptoms of anxiety, complete unmotivation, and overwhelming apathy. I lost motivation to do not only the comic, but pretty much everything else (except games and gettin’ busy), including sleep. My job has been so hectic and time-consuming that it’s made me hate myself that I don’t want to do much when I get home. Anyway, point is, having a real job fucking sucks, but I’m learning to deal and I’ve been feeling better. Nothing a little bit of this won’t help anyway, eh?

On a brighter note, I’ve actually gotten a chance to play all these games everyone talks about so much. I finished Gears of War on Hardcore and am wanting to beat it on Insane. For a while I was obsessed with increasing my Xbox Live gamer points, but I’m stuck on 1501 right now, because I’ve recently mostly been playing Tiger Woods 2k7, and it takes fucking forever to get anything in that game. It’s fun, though, so I don’t feel too badly. I’ve been playing UNO on Xbox Live as well, although I suspect the novelty will wear off when I finally get my one remaining achievement for it. Oh hell, who am I kidding? As someone who craves attention, I don’t think the Uno novelty will ever wear off for me until I grow a penis. Outside of the Xbox world, I’ve also been playing with my DS, with Phoenix Wright: Justice for All, and I started Pokemon Diamond the other night. For PC, I’ve also been trying my hand at Command and Conquer: Tiberium Wars, and I find it quite fun and enjoyable, which is unusual for me because I’m not usually an RTS person. Sadly, my Wii is kind of collecting dust at the moment. That’s pretty much a short summary of what I’ve been up to lately in the video game world.

In Level 99 news, I finally updated my webcam with a new URL, after Comcast booted me because they don’t exist anymore or something. I’ve also updated the comic font a bit. I’ve been wanting to for a while, because while on one hand it gives us a quality of originality, I know it had problems with legibility, lol. I don’t know if it’s going to work out better, or if we’re going to decide to stick with it, but I figured I’d give it a shot before attempting at a new font or totally giving up and stealing someone else’s. *Shrugs.* If you want to make your opinion known, head on over to the forums and make yourself heard.

Okay, well, that’s it from me for today! I have some other things to say, but I’m starting to get sleepy and I don’t want to miss out on it.

~Race

Astute readers would have noticed that over April Fool’s weekend, the Level 99 experience was shut down. It was our little April Fool’s joke. I swear. <.<

Ok, really it was just bad timing. Around the same time that Race got hella sick and I got robbed for 75% of my bank account, our domain lease ran out. In that time, I missed my opportunity to talk about Guitar Hero II (360) before it came out (although I doesn’t hit the streets officially until tomorrow, really), GTA IV, a leak of the PSP price drop, etc. and all of thechinpokomon I’ve been playing. I guess I get to do it now. Bing bang boom.

~> I’ve been playing a shit-ton of SotN since it hit the 360 marketplace the other day. The only achievements I have yet to receive are the 200.6% finish and the Richter completion. God I love this game, and it hasn’t gotten any worse. If you’ve played it already, play it again. If you haven’t…. Come on.

~> GTA IV… underwhelming? Meh. I’ll play it. So will you.

~> Pokemon. Sure, I’ve been playing Emerald. You want to fight about it? The guys at work have this friendly competition regarding the new Diamond and Pearl coming out later this month and we’re getting a jump start. Grown men, shit-talking, and pokemon. Me, I haven’t played a Pokemon game since the OG Blue and Red many years ago. Honestly, it’s a compelling RPG with mechanics of no other. A 6-man party that you can choose from hundreds as you collect them at your own pace and use one at a time. An open world that unfolds almost in a Metroid-esque manner with backtracking and discovery that doesn’t get annoying. Even complicated multiple fighting-types that go beyond simple rock-paper-scissors. Get over yourself and play it. It’s a good game.

~> Guitar Hero. Well you know how I feel about that. The 360 version feels better, but the start/back buttons are just as unwieldy as everyone is saying. I like the myriad of achievements and the downloading is so exciting. The HD actually matters, as you might not expect. Switching from one to the other is like night and day. Don’t get it yet if you already have the PS2 version, though. Rock.

So……… my girlfriend is hella sick as well. I guess it’s going around. I’m gonna go take care of ‘er.

We’re back!

-Arlo

“Now, what can possibly be the importance of this post, besides keeping contact, if you are hundreds of miles from your 360, PC, and Wii?” you may ask. Well, I’m about two inches away (distance from my wanger, which I consider to be the focal point of my body, from which all things may accurately be measured in distance from myself) from my DS. That’s right. Others are screaming “Vegas, BABY!” I’m screaming “Final Fantasy III, BABY!” And now people are staring at me.

Wait. Now they’re staring at the Wheel of Fortune machine that just passed a million bucks.

-Arlo

Update: The airport’s network wouldn’t let me ping to post the blog, but that gave me some more content to to talk about:

1) The plane’s magazine (no, not Skymall) had an article about 300. Apparently, during testing, the movie scored an “Excellent” with 100% of women 25 and under. Let me put that into perspective for you. The Devil Wears Prada (for which Ocars were considered) couldn’t even pull that off.

2) The Mag also had an article for Halo 3. It didn’t really say much, but here’s what it told me. It told me that video games are getting enough respect as to be read by business men and yuppie parents. That’s the kind of respect we need.

3) Taking off, we flew over Konami’s Vegas production facilities. Jealous, Guy?