If you’re just now joining us, we are back to our “Game On” story arc. It’s been a while, I know, but we really gotta wrap this up mofo up.

This (or at least some similar variation) actually happened. Only the names and… you know what? All of it is made up. I doubt Lou even knows what a Neverwinter Night is.

Elite Beat Agents is just as addicting as Osu! Tatakae! Ouendan. Just force yourself to forget that you are tapping your screen to the smooth stylings of Ashlee Simpson, Avril Lavigne, or Cher and it’ll feel almost identical. The spinny-wheely-bob dealie is much easier to pull off, as is, some would argue, the entire game in general. The last song on the “Hard” difficulty kept kicking my ass over and over and over and over and over until, like that one level in Donkey Country where you had to ride that spider and shoot webs right in front of you so you could walk on them to cross this crazy-long pit, I came back to it after a hiatus to rock it’s world. What did I find? Chicks. That’s right. “Beat” the game on hard and you get super-duper hard mode, complete with bepom-pommed women cheerleaders that do that awkward thrusting maneuver that you see women do in clubs that’s just kinda abrasive but society makes you feel like you’re supposed to be attracted to it which just causes them to keep doing it in some sort of vicious pelvic-thrusting cycle.

Yeah. Well, it’s good. If it’s too easy for you, just beat it, and it gets harder. Ok, I know what you’re thinking, so just stop it. You’re dirty.

-Arlo

We’re number !1 (Get it? It’s a leet speak joke.)

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “What the hell, Arlo? Why on God’s green (but mostly blue) Earth are looking up ‘taint’ on wikipedia?” Well, I would answer that, but I think it’s funnier if I not. How about this one: “Jesus, that’s an odd resolution!” Yeah, I’m cool like that. Slightly less important is: “Really? You? Number 1?” Really. We. Number 1. Out of 7543, f—ers! I think this is proof positive that this system is broken. Let’s put this into perspective here: Dr. McNinja, those guys we interviewed because they’re more famous and talented than us? 59. That’s the finest howdoyoudo I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen many a fine howdoyoudo. I don’t even care if it is a meaningless howdoyoudo.

I was going to come on here and talk about PS3 and Wii reserves and how Sony still sucks. I was even going to talk about how you’re not playing Final Fantasy XII right now because you bumped your head on a retard. You know what? I don’t even have to bother. Because we’re number one. You know what that makes me individually? Number point five. That’s better than 1, bitch!

-Arlo. I should probably change my name to something more fitting. Like, um… “Supremo, Duke of the Racetocracy of Level 99ia.”

I swear… the picture wasn’t doctored.

If you didn’t know, 80% of all PC Gamers are actually vampires. It’s a fact.

~Race

Hey, I thought this was about video games! Who’s this guy?

Not much going on in the world of the really real. Race is as busy as ever. I’m… well, I’m me. And certain other people are certain other people. Wait for the newest podcast we recorded Sunday morning to hear us talk to those certain other people. Vague enough for you? Yeah, I’m like that sometimes.

-Arlo

So it’s been a while. I know. Unfortunately, things have been kinda crap lately as goes our timing. Jaana has been incredibly busy doing absolutely amazing things and my internets have been not so amazing. The night of the last s’poseda-be update, I was down for eight hours. Now, my webs are up, but back to below par. Triple Bogey. Hopefully, this won’t take long, and things will be back up and running. In the meantime, you could’ve joined us in the forums for stimulating conversation and mindless jibber-jabber. Where were you?

Anywhat, we’re making it up to you by posting Episode 5 in our podcast series. Check it out, damn it. It’s our best yet. And it has soooo much naughtiness in it. Just tons of sex talk. We’re also throwing up the newest installment in our current story arc! At the same time! Aren’t we generous?

-Arlo

So yeah, it took longer than I thought it would, but 63 installments in, and we finally get to see Race out of those boring jeans and white hoodie and into something much less comfortable. All for the sake of your enjoyment, you sickos…oh, and for plot development, I guess.

I like to play games online, particularly first person shooters, but I’ve never dabbled in the competitive gaming circuit (although I’ve always wanted to), so I can’t claim to have our current strip to account for real life experiences. I just don’t have the time to practice. I can’t even crank these damn strips out on time! >.< I haven’t had much experience playing these sorts of games with other girls, either, although I’ve lurked in “grrl gamer” forums and I think the main difference between competitive gaming between boys and girls, is that instead of talking a bunch of shit, girls tend to be extremely supportive and adopt that whole “go, sister, go” attitude. That’s why those girls are mudwrestling in the background. They’re supporting each other. ^.~

At any rate, I try to get in as much gaming as I can, and for the past week or so, I’ve been playing nothing but Quake 4. If you wanna come frag with me, my Xfire name is “level99.” I need some Xfire buddies who play similar games as I do…all the people on my list play WoW. Doh.

It’s late. I need to go to bed. Stupid job. YOU! Stop playing WoW so late!

~Race