So what is Simon Belmont doing in this episode of Captain N: The Game Master, and why is he so happy about it? Why, he’s milking a cow, of course! What did you think, you sickos?!

~Race

Boom boom POW.  Hey look, it’s a strip! It totally explains our long, drawn-out absence, I swear.

The 80’s certainly was an awesome time to grow up, filled with wonder and excitement. The decade, sometimes referred to as MJ B.C., Michael Jackson Before Crazy, really showed the extent of how pop culture can span an entire population, an era that birthed some of the most creative minds and franchises that the entertainment industry still depends on today. I feel sorry for you 90’s kids, what, with your internet and your Ace of Base. Those things never did anything for anyone.

I now draw your attention to the first panel of the strip. That, kids, is a screenshot taken from the Sega Genesis release of Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego? You may recognize it as the nerdier, less popular younger sibling of the piece of software entirely responsible for your knowledge of geography, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego? Remember, it was the only thing worth going for at the school’s computer lab? Well, that and Oregon Trail. If you haven’t played Where in Time, it’s just like World, except it spans across history, and kind of hard by little kid standards (but probably not as hard as the obscure Where in Space is Carmen Sandiego?). Not only do you have to know the suspects’ hair and eye colors, but you are presented with opportunities to deduce their favorite authors and artists. Seriously, how many little kids would know who Fyodor Dostoyevsky is? If I was the only one, then they did a poor job of indoctrinating Crime and Punishment into us at my school district. Anyhoo, Time may have proved to be more of a challenge, but it was sorely lacking in its television gameshow adaptation.

This…

…ain’t got NOTHIN’ on THIS:

Rockapella was awesome, but for some reason I can’t find a short video of them singing the theme song on the original show anywhere.  This stupid video is probably the closest thing:

And yes, I know it’s a 90’s show, and no it doesn’t make up for Ace of Base.

They need to revive this franchise in a big way. Right now, though, this is what you will find on PBS’s website:

That damn bitch is proving to be more elusive than previously thought.

Launch my Chronoskimmer to the 80’s, please.

~Race

Today’s comic is partly autobiographical in the sense that I’ve spent some of my recent days wallowing in my own dirt, reliving my childhood and watching Xena and Jem. Arlo is still very much alive, with head attached. =P I don’t know what got me watching Jem again, but as a kid, I didn’t have much appreciation for it, and I never paid attention to how violent this show was. The Misfits almost kill someone in, like, EVERY episode, and no one ever called the cops on them. Now, as an adult, I realize the magic that is Jem and the Holograms. The show was ahead of its time, and so mind-boggingly ridiculous that it’s awesome–or dare I say, TRULY OUTRAGEOUS! See for yourself!

Dude, the Misfits have motorcycles SHAPED LIKE GUITARS. GUITARCYCLES. And Xena, well, she’s just plain phenomenal. To this day, I still want to be her, flipping around and cutting off the bloodflow to people’s brains. No, I do not have cabin fever. >.> Edit: It has been brought to my attention that it was in fact Dynamowolf who sparked the Jem revival. Go send him hate mail for getting the theme song stuck in our heads.

While Ray handles the TV and Movies sections here, I took the time to watch a new show that debuted on the TNT channel last night called “Leverage”, and wanted to write a review on it. Reason being is that TNT has been shoving this damn show down my throat nearly 4-6 times per commercial break when I watch the NBA, or any other show on their network. This wouldn’t have been such a problem if this was only for a few weeks, but this promotion for the show has been going on for nearly two months. Since I’ve had this show drilled into my brain by TNT, I watched it and I have a few choice words to say about it. Hit the jump to find out.

I have no real set up for a TV review, so I guess I will do it similar to my game reviews. Lets go.

Plot Synopsis:

Leverage stars Timothy Hutton (an Oscar winning actor, a point which TNT has also shoved in my face) as Nate Ford, who is an ex-Insurance Claim Investigator with a tragic past due to the death of his son by his former insurance employer. Nate’s employer refused to pay for his sons medical treatment, and ultimately he ended up dying as a result, leaving Nate in shambles. Fast forward to the start of the show, Nate is approached by a man named Victor who pleads with him to lead a group of thieves to steal back stolen plans from a business rival. Victor ends up getting Nate to cooperate with him, by using Nate’s dead son as a reason to help get revenge on his former employer.

(Spoiler Alert for the episode) Turns out that Victor has double crossed Nate and his band of thieves, and ends up trying to kill all of them in an explosion. The group decides to come together once again to sock it to Victor, and ultimately do so. They end up making so much money in the process, that the team stays together and forms a group to help the little guy (aka – Joe Public, aka you and me) get revenge on big corporations that have done people wrong. They provide…. Leverage.

Characters:

This is the main problem that I had with the show, and it was directly due to some of the characters being completely bullshit. I’ll start with the good, and move onto the bad.

Outside of Nate, there are four other characters. Hardison – tech guy, Spencer – muscle, Parker – master theif, and Sophie – face man. Nate is the brains of the operation, as he has seen it all, and knows how to plan a heist, all in the name of good. With Nate, the writers are specifically leaving out parts of his tragic back story for later episodes, so he is the most interesting of the bunch and one you want to know more about. Hardison is the token black guy of the show, and is the tech guy. Outside of that, he’s your normal tech character guy you see in a lot of shows. He’s ok, and won’t get on your nerves (hopefully). Next is Sophie, and she is the face man for the team. I’m pretty neutral about this character, mainly due to the fact she’s boring. She sweet talks her way into what she wants, and moves things along for the team. Feh.

Moving on, we have the bad. Spencer is the muscle of the series, and was tagged with “the retrieval specialist” at the start of the show. He doesn’t like guns, so he ends up disarming people with martial arts moves. Problem is, the show has pegged him as if he was in the fucking Matrix movies. There was two scenes specifically that showcased this bullshit. One is where he is introduced, and they show back story on Spencer. He has come to pick up a baseball card and is surrounded by six men with guns, and none of his own. The scene pans out to show lots of gunfire, then goes back inside, where all the men are down and he gets his baseball card. Next scene is when the team is stealing plans for Victor, and he disarms security guards in a slow motion fashion. The show even has his arms and legs with a blurred sensation behind them, as if he is moving faster than any human possible. It is also taken up another notch when Hardison drops a bag in slow motion, and Spencer has disarmed the men before the bag hits the ground.

Finally we have Parker. This character was just annoying. She’s suppose to be “crazy”, and she just comes off as arrogant because she’s the best thief ever. There was one scene where she just ends up screaming/yelping real quick in the middle of conversation for no apparent reason. I guess it’s to make her “crazy”. I really see no reason as to why this character is here, and it could be some other type of theif character with much more depth to make people want to watch.

With Parker and Spencer, this is the kind of stuff that I hate seeing in shows of this fashion. This is the stuff that people just can’t believe, and that’s extremely apparent in Spencers case. The Borne movies would have been a good starting point for a hand to hand combat reference for Spencer, but I guess they would rather dabble in the Matrix side of things. Parker… she’s just awful. These two characters really bring down the series, and should have been designed in a different way.

Overview:

In short, the show was very boring to watch. Leverage takes the approach of not revealing its entire plot to the viewer, so that it can reveal everything right near the end of the show. You’ll see flashbacks to show what really happened, instead of what you saw earlier in the show, and then everything is revealed for the watcher. Problem with this, is that (well at least with the first episode) you could see the twists coming from a mile away. Why would a master theif and crew leave out a transmitter in the open, unless it was to throw someone on the wrong path? Generally, you can see what is going to happen pretty much up until the end of the show.

The other issue is that there really is no reason for this team to continue to do what they’re doing in the first place. At the end of this pilot episode, they make a ton of money off of Victor (32 million was on one check for the group) and really have no reason to continue on. The idea is that they’re doing it out of the good of their hearts, and to also make more money, but it just isn’t something I can swallow.

Before I put up the final verdict, I want to just talk about another show that has a similar set up, and it’s called Burn Notice on the USA network. In Burn Notice, the main character (Mike) is a spy who was “burned”, meaning that he is no longer a spy and has been blacklisted from every outlet. He has no money, can’t get a job, and is pretty much left like a fart in the wind. Mike wants to know why and who burned him, so that he can get back to being a spy and ends up setting up shop in Miami. Burn Notice is set up similar to Leverage, in that Mike takes on jobs given to him by average people who are in a bind from whatever (drug cartel, mafia, etc etc) in order to make money to finance his hunt for the people who burned him. He helps the little guy, again similar to Leverage. Difference is, Mike has a secondary agenda when he helps these people. He needs to do these jobs so that he can get money and info on who burned him. Burn Notice has a set up where an episode will reveal something about Mike’s past or about the burn, and then goes onto him helping the little guy. Each show is designed so that you have a “new adventure”, but you are coming back to find out what is going to happen to Mike and the burn notice. With Leverage, it doesn’t have that secondary plot nature. It seems like the characters are just there to help the little guy, in order to fatten their wallets without charging the little guy and by taking from the big corporations. It’s similar to Robin Hood, I guess you could say, but there is nothing to really bring you back to these characters in Leverage, unlike how you would come back to Mike in Burn Notice.

Final Verdict:

Leverage is a show that is going to be around for awhile, mainly because TNT has and still is pumping major money into it in order to keep it alive. With the characters and general plot that is present, it’s hard to recommend to people who want to see a spy/thief type of show. There are better versions of this type on TV already, and I suggest that you go watch those instead.

-J

2) Played the Guitar Hero II demo today. This is driving me crazy. 3 finger chords! The almost complete set list has also dropped. There are a couple of new ones we haven’t seen there. Among the notable news: Woman – Wolfmother; Carry On Wayward Son – Kansas; Search and Destroy – Stooges; Killing In The Name – Rage Against The Machine. Wolfmother and Iggy aren’t the confirmed artists, but I wouldn’t be too upset if the Stooges turned into the Peppers, if you know what I mean. Perhaps you don’t. Here’s the thing: that list is 38 of 40. KILLING ME! Those last two had better include Metallica or Zep, or something, to make this wait worth it. If it’s N*Sync or something, I think I’m gonna hafta staba bitch.

3) South Park started off with quite a fucking bang. This is also why I make the CE of BC for WoW number 1. I wanted to mix up the Warcraft posts. Seriously, guys. This episode is going to be shown twenty times over the next week. See it, if you know the first damn thing about any MMO.

-Arlo

Oh, Jesus. Why do I always start posts with fragmented, non-sensical, oft profane sentences? Well, I guess it doesn’t matter, because Race is a twelve-year-old boy. The funny thing is, people often assume she is when playing voice-enabled multiplayer games. And she just goes along with it. You also see here Race’s psuedo-namesake. I say psuedo because we have this whole convoluted backstory behind her name that I don’t think we ever intend to reveal with any officiality. Oh, Jesus. Why must I make up so many words? Next strip you’ll see some girl-on-girl action. Sorry. Girl vs. girl action. Welcome to the Best of the Breast. BoobCon ‘06. Oh, Jesus. Why must we rock so hard?

So, yeah. Apparently, everyone called this. I asked the Troll how many times you can fuck up a launch before the launch and he responded with:

“and still make more money that(sic) god[?]“
I guess he has a point. But still. Weren’t they saying something like 2 million systems by the end of the year and half of those at launch? And now there’s only half a million? Listen. It’s important to note that I’m not just pointing my finger and laughing. There might be a bit of giggling, but honestly, this is more bad news in a string of bad news. I’d probably be feeling bad and rallying for them, if they weren’t such pricks about the whole thing in the first place.

-Arlo

My Birthday is on Tuesday!

There’s an event going on here in Southern Cali to honor such an occasion. Shoot me a line through our site’s email if you want to know what’s up.

So, yeah. No comic this morning, but tonight, when I get home from work but before I go to work the next morning (the day of “the event”), all will be fixed. If it makes you feel any better, I picked up The Tick Vs. Season One today. I know it makesme happy.

See you tomorrow.

-Arlo

edit: wow, I just read this post through and realized it was all about me. It should be noted that each new strip, more time and effort is put forth by Race than myself. I just arrange words. She arranges lines and colors, something at which I do the opposite of accel.